Anal sex toys are one of my favourite things to collect. Not only is it handy to have a variety of different sizes and shapes of butt plug (because everyone's butt-related tolerance is different), but also because if guys are a little nervous or unsure about anal play, sometimes just showing them a rainbow of different anal toy possibilities gets them hot under the collar. Anal play isn't all giant dildos and fisting – despite some people's misconceptions that 'anal sex' equals 'extreme.' If it only ever meant hardcore stretching and pounding I'd probably never have fallen in love with anal play. As it is, lots of early encounters with smaller objects, vibrating anal toys, and lubed-up fingers ensured I fell in love with butt stuff and that love will last a lifetime.
Whether you're an anal beginner or a seasoned butt-plug pro, there are probably quite a few variations on anal sex toys that you haven't tried yet. Here are three of my favourite unique anal sex toys – and why they're well worth a go if you're a fan of butt stuff.
The first time I ever came face-to-face with this toy, it was at a sex writers' conference a couple of years ago. Will – the owner of Doxy and genius behind the Doxy Massager – showed it to me and explained that it's a powerful vibrator designed to be used... well, anywhere you like. The bulb on the end works for clitoral stimulation quite well, but in all honesty the best way to use this toy is anally.
It basically throbs with the kind of raw power you'd expect if you were humping a motorbike, but the fact that the bulb on the end isn't giant and intimidating means you can have all the joy of anal vibration, without any of the frustration that you simply won't manage to get it in. I'm not exactly an anal virgin , but my butt can't cope with some of the larger dildos you'd find in the ' extreme anal' aisle, so when I found the Doxy Don I was hooked straight away. You can either hold it in your hand and manoeuvre, or kneel over it and use your hips to grind against it, giving you a thigh workout at the same time as you enjoy the vibrations.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who loved its potential for butt stuff - after a slight name change and a revised marketing strategy, the Don is now proudly marketed as an anal toy. And in my opinion, one of the best ones you can get.
For some people, the potential 'mess' of anal is massively offputting. They want the pleasure but without the worry that a toy might exit the body with something extra attached. It's why you shouldn't ever have buttsex if you've got food poisoning – I have a friend who knows this from experience. Apologies for getting a bit graphic, but it is one of the hazards of buttsex, and one of the reasons people first start looking at anal douches.
I actually hadn't tried one of these until relatively recently, because I find with anal that as long as you're clean and you've been to the toilet fairly recently, you're usually fine. So I didn't see the point of douching, and I was also a bit nervous about what it would feel like once I'd done it. But after my first attempt, I became a convert. Not because I'd suddenly decided I cared about mess - I just realised that there was a pleasure element to it as well.
To douche, all you need to do is run some lukewarm (but not hot) water into a sink. Test the temperature of the water before you put it anywhere near your body – ideally with a delicate part of your skin like the elbow, which will be more sensitive to water that is too hot. Once you've got the right temperature, put the anal douche in the water and squeeze the bulb. When you release your hand, the water will be sucked into the bulb through the nozzle and you're good to go. Use a little bit of lube on the tip of the nozzle and insert it inside you, then slowly squeeze the water out into your bum.
It sounds weird, and it definitely feels weird if this is the first time you've done it. It feels a bit like drinking a cup of tea, but in reverse – a nice, warming sensation, in a place you wouldn't expect. Then you just sit on the toilet and release to let it all out, and do that a few times until you're happy.
Although the first time felt weird, the second time felt actively nice. And the third time felt better. And... well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. But basically my first go at trying this ended with a pretty intense night of passionate sex, including a whole bunch of anal stuff that I'd forgotten how much I loved. Like a new lease of life, but for my arse.
This one is going to be a bit 'Marmite', I think: you either love it or you hate it. I'm a big fan of double penetration in real life. In porn, I find it off-putting because it always looks like the performers are being challenged to do the most extreme version of DP – stretching wide, hardcore vigorous shagging, that kind of thing. In real life, though, when my partner can take it really slowly, double penetration is deeply satisfying. It essentially stimulates all of my good bits at once, so it's a bit like finishing dinner by having one of each kind of dessert.
I tend to do DP with a strap-on and a cock – so my partner will wear a strap-on with the silicone cock angled either above or below his, and then we'll take it from there. However, if you don't have a strap-on harness you might prefer to try something that attaches directly to a penis. This 'double dip' toy is designed as an anal toy with a cock ring attachment – so you put your cock through the hole, and that secures it in place, then use the shaped attachment for anal penetration.
Not found the anal sex toy you're looking for?
Don't worry – there are plenty more. In fact, I think 'anal' is the sex toy category with possibly the greatest variety around. Butt plugs of every colour, shape and size. Extreme anal toys which present a real sexual challenge. Vibrating toys like the Don by Doxy... oh I could go on forever. Go have a browse at the anal sex toys section , and pick up something that makes you go 'oooh.'