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BREAKING: Now you can literally eat your own pussy
By Girl on the Net 8 months ago 1190 Views No comments

Have you ever thought 'masturbating with amazing sex toys is all well and good, but what I would really like to do is eat my own pussy'? Have you longed for a day when you could cast an exact replica of your vulva out of chocolate and then gorge on it like some kind of X-rated Easter bunny? Well the wait is over and that day has finally come! Allow me to present: the clone-a-pussy chocolate kit.

For a long time now, you've been able to take a perfect cast of someone's penis and then use it to mould either a chocolate version (if you're hungry), or a silicone version (if you'd like to be able to use it in sex play). But until today, I had no idea that I even wanted to eat my own muff, let alone that such a thing was possible.

But when I logged on to the 'new releases' section of SexToys.co.uk to find inspiration for today's blog post, I was kind of mesmerised by the clone-a-pussy chocolate kit. Because now that I know I can do this weird but delicious thing, I feel like I absolutely have to.

Pussy pride

Vaginas and vulvas come in a very wide range of shapes, sizes, colours, textures and... well... anything you can imagine. And yet often what we see in porn is kind of homogenous – there seems to be a trend towards 'neat' labia and perfectly trimmed pubic hair. I didn't realise, when I was younger, that there could be such a huge variety in how things looked downstairs, because the only real models I had to go on were my own and those I'd seen in porn.

But vulval variety is the spice of life – just ask any of the fabulous people who have joined in with Molly Moore's Pussy Pride Project . Molly is a blogger who runs the site MollysDailyKiss.com, and back in 2011 she began the project. It's a way for people to celebrate the variety and beauty of lots of different pussies. People contribute their stories, thoughts and images (so beware – some of the links are NSFW) and it makes for a fascinating dip into other people's ideas about their own bodies.

Pride in your delicious pussy

Why is it so important? Well, apart from it just being fun to talk about (and look at) naked humans, it's also a really positive way to highlight differences and uniquenesses. In a world where young people are encouraged by the media and peers to try and 'fit in' – have bodies that meet certain very strict and often impossible standards of appearance – it's really liberating to celebrate the fact that we're all incredibly different.

And – bear with me, because I realise this may sound like a stretch – I think making a chocolate cast of your own vulva can be a valuable addition to this.

Think about it:

  • You get to spend a lot of time casting your own bits, all the while becoming more familiar with every fold and crevice that makes you unique.
  • When your cast is done, you get to observe yourself the way someone else might see you (albeit this time cast out of milk chocolate). You can see angles and perspectives that you wouldn't normally see, unless you were squatting over a mirror.
  • Finally, you get to express your love for the utter deliciousness of you by literally eating your own muff.

It's genius, I tell you. Of course, if you're more generous than I am, you might instead choose to give your perfectly-sculpted chocolate vulva to a friend or loved one, and watch as they gorge themselves on it. Which, now that I write it down like that, also sounds incredibly erotic.

If you want something a little more permanent, you can buy other moulding kits here that'll allow you to cast a penis in silicone . Sadly there isn't one of these for vulvas just yet, presumably because a silicone penis will make for a decent sex toy but as yet a silicone vulva just makes art – you'd need to attach it to some kind of silicone tunnel like you get on the moulded Fleshlights. But for now I am happy with the chocolate one: I can celebrate the excellence of my own genitals, then finish the adventure off with a very tasty snack.