As someone who works in the sex industry, I often get asked about the best sex advice - whether it's tips of my own or advice other people have given me, it's usually easy to pick a few key pieces of wisdom that have stuck with me throughout the years. But there's loads to be learned from bad sex advice too, so allow me to present three examples of the worst sex advice I've ever been given, which you can hopefully share on Facebook and Twitter to make sure no one repeats these rubbish tips ever again.
Summer is here, the temperature has already been in the high 20s prompting the UK to strip naked and head to the beach. The English Summer is not known for reliability or longevity, though, so, if you are among the lucky ones who are flying off to some far off exotic place this summer then read on. This two-part guide will prep you up with all the best advice – how to pack sex toys for air travel, the best products to take with you abroad and the best toys to spice things up when out and about.
A question has been nagging away at the back of my mind for a long time. Ever since I first started writing for this blog, hunting out the latest intriguing sex news for you. That question is this: why do we need scientific studies to give us excuses to have more sex?
In 1999 the Bloodhound Gang expressed a desire to 'do it like they do on the Discovery Channel', and now thanks to furry tail butt plugs you can bring a bit of that animal excitement into your bedroom. But what is it that makes tail butt plugs so hot?
Choosing a lube is like choosing a bar of chocolate: you know you definitely want something, but dammit all the options look so good it's impossible to decide on just one. Sliquid lube is exactly like this, because there are so many different varieties, all of which look equally excellent. But don't panic – I am here to talk you through some of the options, so you can make sure you get the right one for you.
Have you heard of GOOP? It's a 'lifestyle brand' run by none other than Gwyneth Paltrow. And its been causing quite a stir recently – not for good reasons. It turns out that Gwyneth could do with a few lessons in what you should – and absolutely should NOT – put in your vagina.
It's rare that I get to do sex and science fiction in the same blog post, but this week the opportunity came hurtling straight out of the sky, like the asteroid in Armageddon. A top scientist has warned that NASA needs to study sex in space as a matter of urgency, and I am happy to volunteer my services...
For horny layabouts like myself, Bank Holidays are an excellent opportunity to relax, get naked, and catch up on all the sex you were too tired for during the average working week. Unfortunately, lots of other things tend to get in the way. So for those of you who want a hot bank holiday (in more than one sense), here's how to get out of those annoying Bank Holiday obligations and give yourself more time for getting dirty...
Did you know that May is Masturbation Month? While I'm sure you're happy masturbating all year round, it's nice to have an entire month dedicated to the art of wanking. To celebrate, here are some of my favourite random facts about masturbation picked up while writing this blog.
It occurred to me recently that the attitude I have towards sex toys has changed drastically in the last ten years. But is it because I'm older and wiser, or is it just that there are so many more amazing sex toys on the market than there were back in 2007?
Sex toys in my 20s: exciting but simple
I still remember the first sex toy I ever bought. And it might surprise you to learn that it wasn't a vibrator. While many girls have their first sex toy experience with a bullet or a rabbit vibrator, the first one I shopped for was a strap-on dildo. Yeah. I KNOW. I was pretty lucky.
I'd ventured into sex toy shops a little with my first boyfriend, but we'd end up just coming out with a stash of condoms or lube. I think on one occasion we ventured into the 'sexy DVDs' section of our local shop and wandered out with some not-very-hardcore porn. But the first actual toy I bought was in the first year of university, when a guy I was sleeping with drove me to a seedy-looking place on the outskirts of the city and we bought a big dildo with an elastic harness.
It was pretty awesome, and somehow made even sexier by the fact that the shop hid the purchase on the debit card under the shop name 'DIY solutions.' An amazing piece of euphemism if ever I heard one.
From then on, new toys were bought mostly by the guy I was with – he had more money than I did, while my student loan was a bit stretched even eating only beans on toast. We tried ben wa balls, anal vibrators, and he bought me my first ever rabbit. A toy I loved so much I shagged through at least a hundred AA batteries in the first year of owning it.
But back then sex toys were often very simple, and the thrill of them came from the fact that they did new and interesting things. They were also things I wanted to hide from people – I'd be horrified if a flatmate walked into my room at uni to see a dildo displayed on my desk (which happened more times than I'd have liked – I am a bit rubbish at tidying). What's more, the toys were very specifically things I would only talk about with a partner. Whispers of 'what do you think about trying this...?' late at night, in the dark.
Sex toys in my 30s
The main difference with sex toys in my 30s is that I have abandoned a lot of the shame or secrecy I used to have around sex toys. Things which I'd have kept hidden from view ten years ago are now often either displayed around my house or left drying in a line alongside the bath. I'd probably do a whip-round to take them off display when my parents came round, but friends I know and love enough to invite to my house are not only OK with seeing sex toys, they also frequently ask for recommendations.
Buying sex toys now isn't about whispered conversations and secret credit-card transactions either. I buy sex toys in the same way I buy new household gadgets and appliances – looking at reviews, comparing different brands, and weighing up all the options. This is partly because these days I care more about quality. When I was in my 20s sex toy selection was about deciding what I wanted – a butt plug, say – and then picking the cheapest one available in my local sex shop. Perhaps one of the greatest things the internet has done for me is make it possible for me to make active choices about the sex toys I buy, rather than being limited to a few options bought in a rush because I'm nervous about being in a seedy-looking shop.
Are these differences all down to my age and wisdom? I don't think so. Although I definitely have a more mature attitude to sex toys in my 30s (I'm unlikely to giggle at a sex toy unless it's particularly weird-looking), the main thing that's changed is that sex toys have simply got better. Much better. The difference between a good rabbit vibrator in 2007 and a good rabbit vibrator in 2017 is almost as great as the difference between a Nokia 3310 and an iPhone 7. Sex toy manufacturers are coming out with toys that are more innovative, powerful and downright beautiful than the options that were on offer before. And the fact that you can buy them online at sites like this means there's no need to go hunting for your local seedy shop with boarded-up windows if you want to browse the options.
It's partly because the world has moved on – at least some of the credit is down to amazing sex educators who have been successfully spreading the word that masturbation is fun and normal, and sex toys are a great way to enhance it. But it's also partly driven by the fact that more people are listening to that message and actually buying sex toys. The more people who buy, the more manufacturers (and distributors) can invest in coming up with even more new and better things.
In my 20s, the sex toy industry was a bit like I was: trying hard but not quite there yet. In my 30s, the sex toy industry has blossomed like I have into a discerning and innovative pervert. Long may this trend continue.