There are some sex toys that only last about five minutes on my wish list before either I or my partner buys them. Furry tail butt plugs, for instance, press his 'hot' buttons as well as mine, so it didn't take long from 'ooh that looks nice' to a package arriving – discreetly wrapped – in the post. Other sex toys, however, require anticipation: either allowing me time to persuade my other half that he really wants to try them with me, or a little extra money, or both.
At the moment Sex Toys is offering 20% off in celebration of National Orgasm Day – use the code ORGASM20 when you check out – so what better time to tick off some of your bucket list sex toys?
There are so many things on my bucket list, I had to narrow my bucket list sex toy choices down to three. I've chosen one sex toy that I've already crossed off my bucket list which I think you should try while you can pick it up cheaply, one that will be crossed off soon, and one that will probably languish there forever until I can find a guy willing to try it with me...
Bucket list sex toy: The Lelo Hugo
I'm going to start with a sex toy that I have already crossed off my bucket list, but which I want to mention to you in case you haven't yet been able to try it. If you want to make the most of the sale discounts, buying expensive toys that are suddenly a bargain is an excellent place to start.
The Lelo Hugo is a prostate massager, but not as you know it. Most prostate massagers simply offer straight-up vibrations or patterned vibrations, so you slide them in, turn them on, and away you go. That's pretty brilliant in and of itself, and I have spent many a happy night with a guy watching him go crosseyed over a particularly good prostate massage.
But the Lelo Hugo has an extra trick up its sleeve: the remote control is motion sensitive. That means that you can control the pulse and intensity of the vibration simply by moving the controller. If you're alone, this means that you can pop the controller in your pocket and walk around the house or garden, with each step the controller will jolt and the massager will tingle and you'll get a little thrill of delight. If you're with a partner, they can tip and shake the controller to give you those same sensations. Try twinning it with a flogger – get your partner to hold the controller in their flogging hand while they also give you a sensual beating. Whenever the flogger smacks on your skin, the Hugo controller sends powerful vibrations direct to your prostate.
Honestly, it's incredible. I don't have a prostate but these tricks all work if you're just using it as an anal toy.
Bucket list sex toy: A penis cage/extender
I think these should more realistically be called 'dick exoskeletons', and I shall petition the sex toy industry to switch to this far more fun descriptor from hereon out. These are like silicone cock rings that wrap around the base of your penis, except with a cage/extender the silicone structure also wraps up your shaft and around the head of your cock.
Brilliant because you get an extra squeeze of sensation as it snugly grips your shaft, and doubly brilliant because the resulting squeeze gives you a diamond-hard erection. Many of these – like the Adrien Lastic Couples Gladiator Sleeve – also come with vibrators at the base so when you're using them during sex your cock vibrates as well as thrusts in and out.
The reason I don't like words like 'extender' is because I think they may put many guys off using them: feeling like you need an extension on your penis might not be the most confidence-boosting thing to start a shag with. But ultimately this isn't about size, it's about turbocharging the awesome powers your penis already has. And that's why it's on my bucket list.
It's also why I suspect when I tell my partner about it, it won't be on my bucket list for very long...
Bucket list sex toy: A sex doll
OK, this one is a dream so big that it probably won't happen at any time in the near future but... yeah, I really want to watch a guy I love shag a sex doll . There. I said it. We've talked quite a lot about sex dolls on the blog here before – they seem to stir very 'Marmite' emotions. You either love the idea of sex dolls, or you hate them. They're a niche and intriguing kink.
For some the appeal comes from the fact that you can actually hump it – it takes away the masturbation movement, and means you can get a lot more physical. Others like that you can project personality onto them, giving them names and anthropomorphising them so it feels like you're with a person. And some like the 'fakeness' of them: the feeling of sticky plastic and the hyper-unrealism that might come from an anime sex doll, for instance.
Me? I just like watching men hump things. From a BDSM perspective, I can see delicious possibilities for humiliation scenes, made up of guys being ordered to finish off with a sex doll when what they are aching for is the real thing. And from a simple horny perspective – because I am at best a simple, horny creature – I quite like the idea of watching a guy have sex with some thing that isn't me. The extra effort required to hump something rather than wank, working him up into a delicious exhausted sweat. Lovely.
Unfortunately I think my sex doll dreams may have to be laid to one side for now – remember what I said about Marmite, you either love it or you hate it? My other half is firmly in the 'hate it' camp. But I can dream, can't I? While some of these sex toys may stay on my bucket list forever, you can pick up whatever you fancy from this list or anywhere else on site.
Go forth, fulfil your (and my) bucket list dreams! And don't forget your 20% off - use code ORGASM 20 at checkout.