Too tired for sex over the holidays?

Dear Rebecca,

My partner and I are always exhausted over the holidays. We have a big family that comes to visit and lots to plan and do. Most years it really gets in the way of our sex life as we’re too tired to get sexy. Do you have any suggestions for how to keep our sex life going during this hectic time?



Hi Laura,

Thank you for your email. Yes, this time of year can be super busy and very exhausting. It’s hard to feel sexually alive when your energy is low and there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to fit everything in. Here are a few ideas for you to try:

  1. Get sensual rather than sexual – What I mean by this is to take the pressure off having to have full on sex. If you wait for the right time and lots of energy for that you might not get far. However, if you focus on being with each other sensually, at least you’ll maintain your intimate connection. You might give each other a massage, make out like teenagers or have a bubble bath together. These things might lead to sex, but don’t have to.
  2. Flirt outrageously – Flirting is a great way to keep the sexual flames from going out, regardless of how much energy you have. Try winking at each other across the room, letting your hands linger a bit longer than they should when you touch your partner or sending a naughty text.
  3. Mutual masturbation – If you don’t have the energy for all out love making, how about having a sexy mutual masturbation session? Position yourselves so you can see each other and enjoy the live show!

Hope this helps you to stay sexy over the holidays!

With love,


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