My girlfriend won’t let me go down on her

Dear Rebecca,

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now and she has never let me go down on her. I love pleasuring a woman with my mouth, tongue and lips, but she just won’t let me do it. Is there a way I can get her to try it?



Hi Steve,

Thank you for your email. There could be lots of reasons why your girlfriend doesn’t let you go down on her. I’d suggest talking to her about it to begin with. Perhaps she feels a bit body conscious or has had a previous bad experience with it. Maybe she finds it difficult to relax or to receive pleasure.

Once you hear her reasons, you might easily be able to put her mind at rest. If she still seems unsure, talk to her about the possibility of taking it in baby steps so that she can overcome any worries or concerns. Tell her how much you enjoy doing it and how much it would turn you on.

If she’s interested in trying it, help her to relax first. Warm her up with lots of kissing, stroking, cuddling. Let her know that she’s safe and that you’re there for her and loving every minute of it.

You could start by using your mouth over her panties first. That would help her get used to having your mouth on her pussy, but not too directly. You could press your lips against her, and even breathe hot air through her panties. With a bit of material between you she might feel safer to carry on.

If she decides to take her panties off and go for it, take it at her pace. Reassure her that you really love it. Let her see and hear your pleasure at doing it. If she’s really finding it difficult to relax or just not enjoying it, stop and talk to her. There might be a minor adjustment you could make to help her, or you might just have to try again another time.

Your patience and understanding will go a long way to helping her try something new.

With love,



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