I’m considering a one-night stand

Dear Rebecca,

I’ve only ever had sex in a relationship and although it’s been great, I’m currently single and considering a one-night stand. I just really want to know what it’s like to meet someone and have sex with him on the same day. Is there anything in particular I should know before giving it a go?



Hi Maria,

Thank you for your email. One-night stands can be really hot, totally disastrous or somewhere in between. Often it depends on where you’re coming from and what you’re hoping for.

If you’re feeling particularly empowered, adventurous and good about yourself, then a one-night stand with a hottie you’ve just met can make you feel great. If you’re feeling bad about yourself, have had too much to drink or are trying to mend a broken heart, chances are you’re just going to feel worse in the morning.

There are a few things I’d recommend you consider before taking a leap into bed with someone you’ve just met:


Safety, safety safety – Obviously safe sex is of utmost importance with someone you’ve just met. Make sure you have a safe sex chat with your potential partner and use condoms, dental dams and anything else appropriate to what you’re getting up to.

Make sure you also consider your personal safety, in terms of who you’re with and where you might go. Are you going to his place, is it safe to have him at yours? Let a friend know where you are and who you’re with if possible.

Try not to have expectations – just because you flirted outrageously in the club, online or wherever you met, doesn’t mean the fireworks will be there in the bedroom. If you let go of any expectations and just be there for the fun, the new experience, then you’re more likely to have a good time. It may or may not turn out to be the best sex of your life but you will have tried something new.

Also be aware of any expectations you have for afterwards. You might think you want a one-night stand and then find you actually hope he’ll call you. Be prepared to just let the experience stand on it’s own. Anything more is a bonus!

Be empowered in your choices – If you really want to try a one-night stand, then do it from a place of feeling great about yourself and wanting to have a new sexual experience. Don’t choose the first person you see, trust that the right person will come along. Remember it’s ok to change you’re mind at any point.

After care – see how you’re feeling the next day. Hopefully you’re feeling great, a little naughty (in the best possible way) and satisfied. If you’re feeling bad about yourself or the experience in anyway, go gentle on yourself. Talk to a friend about how you’re feeling. You tried something new and it may or may not be your thing – and that’s ok.

Wishing you lots of sexy fun!

With love and delight,


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