I don’t want to cheat on my wife

Dear Rebecca,

I’ve been married for 8 years and still love my wife very much. However, I seem to have a crush on a woman at work and I just can’t get her out of my mind. Sex is pretty dry at home but I don’t want to cheat on my wife. What should I do?




Hi Bill,

Thank you for your email. It is quite normal for our sex lives to go through dry spells. It could be due to stress, work, life in general or we’ve somehow taken our eyes off the intimacy ball. One day we wake up and realize that sex isn’t as frequent or as exciting as we’d like. The good news is that it’s usually possible to heat things up again.

Crushes make us feel alive and connect us to our sexual selves. The crush you have on your work colleague may just be an outlet for your backed up sexual energy. Or it could be that she appears fabulous, exciting and sexy compared to the current lack of that at home.

I would suggest that you talk with your wife about the dry spell.  Tell her that you love her, fancy her and would like to reignite your sex life. Ask her how she feels about the recent lack of intimacy and what she needs to feel ready to get things going again. It’s likely that you’ll be able to work together towards the same goal.

It’s possible that once your sex life at home has more ‘life’ in it, your crush will fade away. If it doesn’t, you can still enjoy the feeling of the crush without having to act on it.

With love,






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