I don’t feel sexy anymore…

Dear Rebecca,

I’ve had a really busy couple of years with work and family commitments and recently I realized that I don’t feel sexy anymore. I used to be quite a sexual person, but can’t remember how that felt. How do I get back to my usual sexy self? Hope you can help.



Hi Amber,

Thank you for your email. Just like with anything that we want to grow and expand, our sexual selves need regular nurturing in order to thrive and flourish. Often, when we get busy in our lives or distracted by the day-to-day things, our sexual selves get lost in the shuffle and then we don’t know how to find our way back

The very good news is that it isn’t that difficult, you just have to find what works for you. I’d suggest starting with some self-stimulation. Set aside some time to offer yourself some loving, nurturing, sensual touch. You could do that in the bath or shower, in bed or anywhere you feel comfortable. Take time to slowly caress your body, taking note of what feels good, what parts of you like to be touched and how. If you have any sex toys, this would be a great time to re introduce yourself to them or treat yourself to some new ones. Touch is a great way to awaken our sexual selves.

If touch isn’t working for you, try using movement to wake up your sleeping sexual energy. You could do some yoga, go dancing or learn to hula-hoop. Using movement consciously will help to shake loose any physical, mental, emotional or other cobwebs and help to wake up your sexual energy.

Another great way to reignite your sexual flames is to take your awareness, your attention, into your body. See what happens if you focus for a while on your spine, your shoulders, your breasts, thighs and pussy. It’s sort of like going on a virtual tour of yourself, reconnecting to these parts and waking them up from the inside. Do it as a sort of meditation. You’ll find that the more sexy/sensual attention you start to give yourself, the more your sexy self will start to come back out to play!

Have fun exploring!

With love and delight,



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