How do I start dating again?

Dear Rebecca,

I’m newly divorced and am finding it really difficult being ‘back on the market’ so to speak. I’d love to start dating again, but not even sure where to begin. Please can you help me?







Hi Edward,

Thank you for your letter. It can be tough to find yourself back on the dating scene after a long relationship breaks up. Before you worry about dating, make sure you take plenty of time to heal from your previous relationship. It can take a while for the shock of it ending and the sadness to work it’s way through our systems. Don’t be in a rush. You’ll feel much better in the long run if you take the time to heal properly and then start dating.

When you feel the time is right and you’re ready to venture out there are lots of ways to meet someone. Internet dating can be a great place to practice chatting and getting to know someone new. Find a site that interests you and take time to create a great profile. Look at other people’s profiles and see what you think makes them stand out. Be really honest, genuine and open about what you’re looking for. Progress slowly from internet chat & emails to phone calls. If you find someone you really get on with then you could ask her out for coffee. Often it’s nice to start with something short and sweet like a coffee rather than commit to a whole evening. If the first date goes well you can progress from there.

If internet dating isn’t your thing or doesn’t work out, you could try local meetup groups. You can find all sorts of interesting groups on the internet that get together and socialize. Take any social opportunities that come your way. Start hanging out in places that you find interesting, take an adult education class or ask friends and family to set you up with someone they think you’ll like. You might find yourself having all sorts of adventures.

There are a few things to think about when you’re out and about, meeting new people. Know what your goal is. Why are you out? Are you looking for a relationship, some casual fun or something else? Be clear about what you want, for yourself and for those you meet. Take some time to dress for the occasion. If you feel like you look good, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident. Most importantly BE YOURSELF. When you’re out meeting new people, just be you. You are already perfect as you are and will attract people you resonate with by just being yourself in every moment.

I wish you the very best of luck and lots of fun.

With love and delight,



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