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How do I send dirty texts or have phone sex?

Dear Rebecca,


My girlfriend keeps sending me dirty texts and wants me to have ‘phone sex’ with her. I’m a complete novice in the ways of sexy texts and phone sex and need some help. Can you please give me some ideas of what to do?

Thanks,

Robert

Hi Robert,

Thank you for your email. In these days of modern technology even the way we flirt or have sex has changed. Naughty texts, or ‘sexting’ as it is commonly known,  can be a great way to keep the fire burning or to build up sexual frisson before you see your partner later in the day. It can also feel really good to send or receive a steamy text that let’s you know someone is thinking about you in that way.

With texts, take it slow and think of it a bit like technological foreplay. Tell your girlfriend that you enjoyed last night, are thinking about her breasts, pussy, hot moans or what you’d like to do to her later. If she responds in an equally flirty way, allow the messages to build up the sexual energy between you. Send her snippets of fantasies or positions you’d like to try with her. Keep it playful and fun. If you feel really brave, send her photos of different parts of your body. However, be mindful that texts can occasionally go to the wrong person!

Phone sex is a little different. You have the added bonus of being able to hear each other and so can use sex sounds as an extra stimulant. Try narrating what you’d like to be doing with her if you were together. Maybe share a fantasy together with each of you creating different parts.  If you felt comfortable, you could both masturbate while whispering naughty words or tales in each other’s ears. It’s really hot to hear each other’s moans, groans and deep breathing as you get hotter. Encourage each other’s pleasure as you both get closer to orgasm. Let yourself bask in the sounds of your partner’s orgasm as well as your own.

If you’re not comfortable creating a fantasy or narrating what you’d like to be doing, ask her questions. ‘What are you wearing’, ‘What would you like me to be doing to you right now’, ‘What would you like to be doing to me right now’ are all good places to start.

Most of all tune in to your sexy self and trust your instincts. Be yourself. Once you’ve sent a few sexy texts or experimented with phone sex a couple of times it will feel more familiar and hopefully fun and saucy too!

With love and delight,

Rebecca

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