Does penis size matter?

Dear Rebecca,

There’s so much talk about penis size and I’m really worried that mine is too small.  Is it true that bigger is better and how can I please my partner if my penis is too small?



Hi Paul,

Thank you for your email. It’s unfortunate that our society tends to value bigger as better because that makes so many men feel inadequate. Penis size is not important in order to be a magnificent lover. Believe me, a man can have a huge penis and still be an awful lover. What is really important is to be present, loving, open and willing to explore.

Penises and vaginas come in all different sizes and with many different preferences too.  It’s great when we find someone with whom we ‘fit’ well, but that’s not all there is to it.

For instance, what a woman wants or needs to satisfy her changes as her body changes. This could be due to her period, her health or just general changes that occur. Sometimes she wants her vagina to feel really full and other times not so much. Talk with her about this and see what she’s in the mood for.

Learn lots of ways of being together, of satisfying your partner. Explore her body with your mouth, lips and tongue. Use your fingers to penetrate her. If she’s open to it, invest in some dildos or vibrators of various sizes so she can choose according to how she’s feeling in that moment. You may also like to try a penis extension or some cock rings , this can be very stimulating for her and satisfying for you.

Also, notice what feels good to you. As well as penetrative sex, you might like her to use her mouth, lips, and hands to bring you pleasure too.

The ‘bigger is better’ adage is a myth. Refocus your thoughts towards becoming a fabulous lover rather than worrying what society thinks about the size of your penis. Spend time getting to know what your partner likes and sharing what you like with her and your sex life will blossom.

With love and delight,


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