Can you help me with online dating?

Dear Rebecca

I’ve been single for a long time now and haven’t even dated for a while. I was thinking of trying online dating but am feeling a bit apprehensive about it. Do you have any tips for making it easier?



Hi Debbie,

Thank you for your email.  It’s great that you’re ready to try dating again. It can feel a bit scary when you haven’t done it for a while.  Before you start, have a think about what you want from it. Do you want to just test the water and see what experiences you might have? Are you looking for a relationship? It’s good to have a clear idea about what you’re looking for.

Next thing is to choose which website you want to use and create a really good profile. Think about what you want to say and what you want folks to know about you. Be careful not to divulge any very personal information like where you live or work. Before you create your profile, read other people’s profiles and see what you think works or doesn’t work. Once you’ve written your profile, ask a friend to proofread it for you and choose a recent photo to use as well.

Once you start communicating with potential dates, take time to get to know them via email first. If after a while they seem interesting and you’d like to know more, you could move on to a phone chat. Only when you’re absolutely sure and ready should you arrange to meet up in person.

When you’ve finally set a date and time to meet, allow yourself plenty of time to get ready. Have a relaxing bath or shower, choose something to wear that makes you feel fabulous. Choose a public place that you know well. Let at least one or two friends know where you’re going and arrange a check-in with them. Once you’ve met your date, and you feel comfortable ring or text a friend to say you’re safe.

Most importantly, take your time, relax, be yourself and have fun. You might go on some dates that are amazing and some that are just not your thing. At least you’ll be out having new experiences, meeting new people and finding your way.

Let me know how it goes!

With love and delight,



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