Afterglow

Dear Rebecca,


My partner often complains that as soon as sex is over, I jump up and have a shower or put the kettle on. I think she would prefer more time together after sex but I’m not really sure what to do then. Can you help?

Thanks,

Adam

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your email. Just as you spend time building energy up as you move towards orgasm, it’s also necessary to spend some time letting the energy settle afterwards. This period of time is sometimes called the afterglow time. A woman opens her heart as well as her body during sex, so your partner might be experiencing feelings of mild shock or abandonment if you leave the bed too quickly after intercourse. As the sexual charge of intercourse is settling, you are both still energetically connected. When you’ve finished having sex, find a comfortable position where you can snuggle up together. Try spooning or lying in each other’s arms.  This continued connection will help you to feel the more subtle ripples of orgasm for quite a while after it’s happened. This is a great time to stroke each other’s bodies lovingly, to nuzzle and nurture each other. When you’re both ready, you might chat quietly for a while, sharing any feelings or thoughts. Tell you partner what you really enjoyed and how it felt to make love with her. This is part of your intimate time together. Take time to luxuriate in it.

Happy snuggling!

With love and delight,

Rebecca

 

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