Black Monkey Spanker

Date: (04 November 2011)

How good can the Monkey Spanker be? It's just a 16 cm long piece of plastic, right? The Monkey Spanker fits firmly at the uncomplicated and inexpensive end of the toy design scale.

The spanker itself consists of a hard but flexible outer plastic shell housing a silicone rubber insert. The outer provides the required rigidity for the toy and allows the user to manipulate the rubber insert when in use. OK, for manipulate, read masturbate. The design is simple and appears durable. It's also a breeze to clean, an essential for all sex toys.
Set into the hard outer housing is a recess for the small bullet powered by two LR41 batteries. Two sets are supplied with the Monkey Spanker, always a nice touch when a toy manufacturer includes them I think.

So to the test.
Lube is essential, the nature of the enticingly soft and squidgy insert means without lube it clings to your skin, so using the toy without lube would be guaranteed to cause you injury. I used a standard water based lube.
Laying naked in bed, my other half ensured I was full erect before attempting to use the Monkey Spanker. A few moments twiddling and I was ready for the arduous task of masturbation. I dribbled some lube onto my glans and I gently rubbed the Monkey Spanker over and around the head of my cock to spread the lube on my cock and the toy.

My other half had my balls in her hand and her index finger and thumb circling the base to present my erection to the Monkey Spanker. She loves to get involved. I couldn't wait to push my cock into the tight 12mm opening in the Monkey Spanker's insert. The texture of the soft plastic, especially when lubed makes you want to stick something in it. I think it's because all guys have experimented a little when masturbating with things other than their hands in the past and this is like being a kid again, trying to find somewhere naughty to push your excited cock.


So I began to push the head of my cock through the hole. I hit a snag, the inner diameter of the outer rigid plastic shell is not much bigger than the diameter of my cock. Now I'm no John Holmes, but I did wonder if I'd get stuck. My worries were unfounded as with a little more lube and a leap of faith I found myself gripped firmly in the toy and able to move it up and down my shaft. The construction of the soft insert and formulation of the plastic means your tool is gripped firmly without feeling it's being constricted. A Perfect and very stimulating balance.

My other half watched avidly as I experimented. For a quickie you can just move the Monkey spanker around your glans and frenulum, up and over, on and off. This is a cheeky little Monkey Spanker wank. I found I wanted to vary the speed and dept of my strokes, pushing the Monkey Spanker down as far as it would go to my groin. This stretches the skin of your cock right back in a very enjoyable way.
Long slow strokes are enjoyable too. In fact I wanted to do all of them at once so the wank took a while as I toyed with myself. My other half was enjoying the show, attending to her own needs while waiting for me to erupt.

When I came it was with a great shuddering orgasm. The combination of naughtiness at pushing my cock into the tight little hole and the excellent design came together perfectly to deliver a great orgasm.

You'll notice I haven't mentioned the vibrating bullet. I have to say the bullet is nice, but for the most part it only really comes into play when you're moving the Monkey Spanker slowly over your cock or holding it still, particularly on your frenulum. There's certainly a great deal of pleasure to be had just holding it there and teasing yourself. Personally though I found the greatest stimulation and satisfaction from doing what the toy is primarily designed for.
Giving your monkey a good hard spank.

Date: (14 September 2010)

Another amazing variation with the Monkey Spanker is to actually use 2 TWO monkey spankers! Don't worry about the cost-it's worth it! Rub plenty of oil into the cock, particularly the top of the shaft then slowly slide the 2 monkey spankers over the head of your penis, note - this definitely works best when you're Really turned on and your dick is Very Hard - you can in fact wank yourself almost to orgasm before using the spankers like this. Ok, so nice and slowly slide the monkey spankers up and down the top of the shaft-this really is so close to a blowjob feel. Then rotate the spankers - slowly and in different directions - and - if you have managed not to shoot your sperm! - move them up and down whilst rotating
at the same time - occasionally sliding over the head of the cock. Words can't describe how amazing this feels! - it always looks pornstar spectacular as well! as the special cock-hugging latex draws an intense and satisfying squirting orgasm! The only downside is the amount of spunk I have to clean up afterwards!-obviously not a problem if you are with a willing (& thirsty!) partner!
Try it!!

Date: (03 November 2009)

This little beauty truly is amazing!
You need to first make sure that you are fully erect (use your fave porn film or mags as it says on the packaging!) and use PLENTY of lube for best results. Works best with gentle motions just below the head of the cock at the top of the shaft. The little vibrator that comes with it is ok-ish - what I would recommend though for THE best orgasm is to use a regular vibrator held firmly to the handle of the spanker whilst gently moving the spanker up and down- this truly is heaven on earth & gives me the most mind-blowingly powerful orgasms imaginable; always makes me squirt my cum a good distance!! VERY satisfying - Great value for money and highly reccomended!