Flawed but fabulous! Despite the slight issue of this being too large to fit through my letterbox and having to go and collect it from the post office I'm now the proud possessor of a Crystal "Better than Real" masturbator. Better than Real is a pretty big claim so I was interested to find out just how it stacked up. Well I must admit first look and feel weren't all that inspiring, reminding me of nothing so much as a dollop of primary school blancmange. One end is moulded into a reasonable facsimile of a pair of vaginal lips with a small hole in the centre. Now my personal opinion is that I know I am using something fake to heighten my pleasure so why the hell go to the trouble of moulding an entirely superfluous body part onto the toy? I would prefer a nicely designed toy to go in my bedside table rather than a disembodied piece of anatomy! Anyway that slight rant aside, on to use. Firstly you have to make sure that you use a good amount of lube. The toy is very tight which is nice but, as the surface texture is slightly tacky, if you don't use enough lubricant as you first insert your penis it does have a tendency to drag against the toy pulling it inside out rather than penetrating cleanly. Once inside it feels good. No make that: it feels really good! The toy is very tight and well provided for with ridges and little nubs for extra stimulation. There are unfortunately a few problems. Firstly the the shape of the toy didn't fit easily into my so I had to keep rotating it to find a comfortable position. Secondly the toy is only five inches long so the head of my penis, i.e. the sensitive part where you want the stimulation, was clear of the end. And finally the material of the toy is really thick so if you want to add any extra pressure it gets absorbed by the squashy toy material rather than being transmitted through to your penis. OK that sounds a lot of complaints but I have to come back to this thing feels really good and that really is the point of it. You may have to fiddle around with hand positioning and may not be able to stimulate the full length of your penis but this is the poshest of posh wanks I've tried! It's obviously not Better than Real but it is better than a lot of other toys and earns a solid four stars.
Quick disclaimer - as with all books there is an element of personal taste here so YMMV! Now that out of the way on with the book! Partner Swap is a compilation of 20 stories about swinging, swapping, threesomes, foursomes and occasionally more-somes. Each story is only a few pages long so if you're after a quick fix this is perfect. Personally I find the short story format works well for me; if I'm reading porn then I'm not terribly interested in deep characterisation and multi-layered plotting. That said you want at least a minimal level of authorship - at least one of the stories I found so badly written that I was cringing all the way through it which is a real libido killer. The only other story which didn't work for me was the obligatory "sexy vampire" which really has been done to death - or possibly undeath. Still a ten percent fail rate in a book of short stories is actually pretty good so all round recommended for when you need a quick fix. It's easy and fun to read and a story or two at bedtime will help you sleep with a smile on your lips.
So. The REV1000. What to say about it... ...oh my! Ermmmm OK maybe not terribly informative. Let's try again... ...Mmmmmmmmm. Swirly goodness! It appears that incoherence may be a serious side effect of using the REV1000. Deep breath and last time! The REV1000 is a rather funky piece of kit. It has a clean curvilinear design which makes it look more like a very expensive kitchen appliance than a sex toy. The packaging is much more restrained and discrete than you see in many toys; no scantily clad young ladies here. All in all it's something you could open in front of your mother without a single blush on either side. When you get it out to have a play the toy basically consists of three parts. The handle which houses the battery, motor and controls. Attached to this by a magnetic coupling is a plastic cup with a soft silicon inner cup which does the real work. The final piece is a clear plastic cover which surrounds the rotating cup. Cleaning post use is a simple case of unscrewing the plastic cover (which I found needed a good wash also) and popping off the cup assembly and a good douse for both. A quick word of warning here; make sure you are hard before use or you run the risk of getting caught in the plastic of the rotating cup which makes me wince just thinking about it! The manual claims that you should charge the toy for eight hours before using it. Like I have that sort of patience! A good splash of lube and away I went. It must be admitted that when you do switch on the whole discretion thing rather breaks down; it can only be described as loud. If you are particularly coy it does sounds more like a drill than a vibrator so I suppose you could claim you were just putting up some shelves. In use the REV1000 is very different to any other toy I've tried. Most masturbators rely on ridges or nubs to enhance the process. The REV1000 on the other hand uses a rotary action which feels closer to a very talented blow job than anything else. There are a set of controls on the handset but when in use you may find that you lose the ability to fiddle with buttons so I found it best to pick a favourite program (2,3 and 7 were my favourites) and stick with it. You get two interchangeable inner cups, one with quite fine extensions and the other which much thicker heavier ones. The quality of your orgasm is altered quite markedly by the cup you choose. The finer extensions give a longs slow burn and the thicker extensions a much quicker climax though in both cases the orgasm is very intense. Changing the cups is a bit of a pain but it's well worth doing to see which you like most. And of course the use of an interchangeable inner cup does give the toy producer the option of producing inner cups in new and exciting designs (hint, hint!) All in all the REV1000 is a fabulous personal pleasuring device and in a just world should be the equivalent of the ubiquitous bunny in every discerning gentleman's top draw. Just watch out for the incoherence after use!
I have to say this (not so) little beastie was a bit of a revelation. I've played with fingers and a fairly small butt plug before but this was something entirely different. I'm not sure if it was the prostate stimulation, perineal stimulation or some combo of the two but wow it worked! When you first open up your Cheeky Boy it looks slightly intimidating in an oh my god that'll never fit way! It's big, it's chunky, it's nobbly - in fact it took me a day or so to work up giving it a try. As with any butt play the usual provisos apply; relax and use more lube than you think you will need. It took a bit of time to work up to inserting the full toy but as it's made up of nobbly sections you can work on a section at a time. As well as the insertional element, the toy has an ridged external vibrator which is pressed against your perineum. Switch it on and you get a fabulous stimulation which if you are unprepared can be almost overwhelming. The Cheeky Boy itself can produce very intense orgasms or if you are impatient you can add some penile stimulation for a real mind-blower. The only real problem I found with the Cheeky Boy is the same problem I find with all ass play is that once you have climaxed you are very sensitive and removing the toy can actually be more uncomfortable than inserting which can be alleviated to a degree by making sure you use plenty of lube. Now at this point, if not earlier, there will be some of you out there thinking "but sticking things up your ass and enjoying it - won't that make you gay!?" To these people I say get a grip! It's only attraction to people of the same gender makes you gay (or bi) so stop worrying and grab something which will put a really good smile on your face!
I saw this mask a while ago and loved the look of it and finally got on to examine and play with. There were a couple of 'is this gonna work?' moments from looking at the box. White spandex? Surely that's going to be pretty transparent? Zips that close to sensitive skin? Surely a recipe for, non-erotic, pain? I needn't have worried about it. OK white spandex is not the most light proof material but as the zips sit directly over your eyes they effectively add to the light blocking. (As an experiment I tried the mask on backwards and found you could see strongly lit shapes through it but still I wouldn't go as far as to say you can see through the material.) The zips themselves they are plastic rather than metal so considerably less abrasive than they could have been. The mouth zip opens wide giving good mouth access; of course you might want to accessorize with a gag for the full psycho sex fiend look. The eye zips are a different matter; they only provide narrow slits to peer through. One slight word of warning about the eye zips though; if you are wearing the mask tight pull the zips away from the eyes before opening or closing them or you can get your eyelashes caught in the zip which is distinctly uncomfortable. Fit is pretty good though you do have to do some messing around to get the zips lined up properly. There is a zip at the back so you can open up the mask to make it easier to put on; especially if you have a wriggling submissive to get masked up. The rear zip is substantially finer than the front zips so it can be a bit fiddly to zip up but it does make the masking process a lot easier. Fit is of course related to getting the sizing right. I would say that the sizes of the mask are a little on the small side. I hover between a medium and large in hat size and found that the L/XL size fitted nicely. All in all I would say this a fun addition to your bedroom costumes though probably not one you will use every night. Oh and for full effect, you can always add a matching Asylum Patient Spider Gag: http://www.sextoys.co.uk/Ball-Gags-and-Bit-Gags/Asylum-Patient-Spider-Gag.asp and Asylum Patient Straitjacket: http://www.sextoys.co.uk/Restraints/Asylum-Patient-Straitjacket.asp from the same range.
| Image | Product Name / Notes | Price | Qty | Total | ||
Code: NS4661 21`` Suede Flogger (Black) |
£29.95 | 1 | £29.95 | |||
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Code: N3559 Sportsheets Slut Leather Spanker |
£23.95 | 1 | £23.95 | |||
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Code: N1791 Whirling Spray |
£11.95 | 1 | £11.95 | |||
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Code: N4455 Anal Pacifier |
£12.45 | 1 | £12.45 | |||
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Code: N7880 Anal Bliss Sensual Probe |
£15.95 | 1 | £15.95 | |||
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Code: N1900 Super Slik 250ml |
£7.95 | 1 | £7.95 | |||
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Code: N4826 Spartacus Black Leather 20`` Thong Whip |
£27.95 | 1 | £27.95 | |||
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Code: N7214 Fleshlight Girls Stoya Lotus Vagina |
£59.95 | 1 | £59.95 | |||
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Code: N6525 Loving Joy Sparkle Sex Toy Cleaner |
£4.95 | 1 | £4.95 | |||
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Code: N8035 Doc Johnson Platinum The P Wand |
£16.95 | 1 | £16.95 | |||
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Code: N6236 Spartacus Black Leather 20`` Strap Whip |
£39.95 | 1 | £39.95 | |||
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