Let’s face it, no matter how much we all love sex, sometimes we’re not in the mood for the wild, swinging from the chandelier sex, or even full on penetrative sex, but we are in the mood for some intimacy and connection, thank you very much. Here’s a lovely way to spend some sensual time together without any of the pressure of how it ‘must’ be.

You can play the Please and Thank You game. Ok, it’s not really a game as such, but it is a wonderful way to connect and play together. Here’s how it works:

Decide who is going to receive first. This person can ask for anything they want and they have to say Please – Please would you rub my feet? Please would you make me a cuppa and bring me a blanket? Please would you stroke my belly with this feather? Please would you slowly lick your way down my back? Please would you use this dildo on me, v e r y s l o w l y. You get the idea.

The person who is doing the offering says ‘Thank you for your request’ and then takes some time to decide if that is something they can provide at that time. If they’re up for it – great! If they’re not, they ask the receiver, ‘Please can you ask for something else’.

The receiver will then say, (you guessed it!) ‘Thank you for asking’ and will take a moment to think of something else they’d like to receive. Eventually, through all the Pleases and Thank you’s you’ll agree on something and off you go. Receiver, when your turn is over, makes sure you say Thank you again.

It might feel a bit silly to start with, however after some time it actually starts to feel pretty good. So often we just expect our partners to guess what we’d like or we demand it of them. ‘Please’ feels really good to hear. We also forget to say Thank you to our partners. It’s a great way to acknowledge that we’ve heard our partner and that we value what they’ve said.

Get Valentine’s Day off to a sensual start by waking each other up with a breakfast to remember. Prepare as much as you can the night before so all you have to do in the morning is grab everything from the kitchen, light a few candles, then wake up your beloved and get tucked into a sensual breakfast delight.

Gently wake your partner with some soft stroking all over their body, whispering how much you love them into their ear. Bring them around softly, tell them that it’s Valentine’s Day morning and that you’d like to treat them to a very special breakfast.

First help them to sit up comfortably with lots of pillows and make sure their warm enough. If they’re happy to be naked while you do this – even better! That way you can keep stroking their body every now and then to keep gentle arousal brewing in the background.

Once they’re comfortable, blindfold them. Start by offering them small pieces of fruit. Berries and grapes are great to use as they are small and easy to eat one at a time. For something a bit more exotic try pomegranate seeds. Thinly sliced mango or melon is also delicious.

Wave each item under your partner’s nose so they can smell it before you bring it to their lips. Once they’ve caught the scent, tease their lips with it, letting them get a little taste. Every now and then, just when they think you’re going to pop the fruit in their mouth, give them a deep, lingering kiss instead – then pop the fruit in!

Give them plenty of time to chew and swallow before moving on to the next bit of food. If your partner has a sweet tooth, you could always dip a few pieces of the fruit into gooey warm chocolate first! Or put some of the chocolate on your nipples, fingers or elsewhere and get them to lick it off! You could also dip slices of apple or banana into honey for a sticky treat. Try dusting some of the fruit slices with cinnamon for a spicy alternative.

Every now and then, as you are feeding them, be sure to softly stroke their whole body, keeping them just on the edge of arousal. When you’ve finished feeding them, you have a wide choice of what to do next. You could swap over so that you have the blindfold and your partner feeds you. Or you could restrain them, remove the blindfold and offer them an exotic, seductive dance. You could take the blindfold off, take them to the shower and jump in with them for some Valentine’s Day shower fun. Or stay in bed, leave the blindfold on and just see where the mood takes you both. Whatever you choose, Valentine’s Day is off to a steamy start…